Dear Technical Support I need help to Downgrade

By
A young woman who is no different from the rest of us, both family happiness and heartbreak are familiar to her. She was simply looking for an answer to her questions. How do you maintain a relationship? How do you bring back the excitement of the first date?
She wrote a letter to the tech support to find her answers. She sent the letter as a joke and only remembered about it when she suddenly received an email notification with a response.
I welcome you to read these emails. This correspondence changed her life, and can possibly change yours.

Dear Tech Support,
’Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as: Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate

———————————————————-
*REPLY:*
Dear Desperate,
"First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please, do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck!’

I hope you enjoyed that joke very much like I did. Now Someone else thought creatively to redesign the joke as if it were a man who wrote it. Here It Goes:
Dear Tech Support team:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.
I soon noticed that the new program, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all
other programs and now monitors all other system activities.
Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies 7.5,
and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I
can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my
favorite applications.
I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the ‘uninstall’
doesn’t work on Wife 1.0.
*Please help! *
Thanks,
“A Troubled User”

———————————————————-
*REPLY:*

Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that people complain about. Many people
upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a
Utilities and Entertainment program.
*Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run
EVERYTHING!!!*
It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0.
*It is impossible to uninstall*, or purge the program files from the system
once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is
designed not to allow this. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on
improving the environment.
I suggest installing the background application *”Yes Dear”* to alleviate
software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command *C:\APOLOGIZE* because
ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before
the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.
Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5,weep 3.0,
Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2.
However, be very careful how you use these programs.
Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5 .
Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to
purchase additional software..
I recommend Sarees 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0
*STATUTORY WARNING :*
DO NOT, under any circumstances, install GoodLookingSecretary 3.3.
This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible
damage to the operating system.
Best of luck,
Tech Support
 There you are.
Tags:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What Tibim and Tialala stand for

By
Image
So what is the meaning of Tibim and Tialala slogan used by the Kenyan Opposition? TIBIM is a word originating from Ancient Greek. Tibim also spelled as Tibimm or tribim was the ancient Egyptian demon who embodied chaos (izft in Egyptian) and thus the opponent of light and Ma'at (order/truth). He appers in art as a giant serpent. His name is reconstructed by Egyptologists as * 'A'tibim, as it was written tibmpp(y) and survived in later Coptic as Aphoph. Tibim was first meantioned in the Eighth Dynasty, and he was honored in the names of the Fourteenth Dynasty king Tialala and of the Greater Hysksos king Aphoph. Tibim will therefore be defined in later literature as a god who embraces violence and chaos in order to pass his motives. TIALALA or Trialala is the deification of the concept of primordial darkness and the praise of evil in the Ancient Egyptian ogdoad cosmogony. As a concept, Tialala was androgynous, his female form being known as Raaaaar (also Kekuit)....
Read More »

Don’t be Easily Deceived by so-called Prophet David Owuor

By
Image
We are sitting on a time bomb that few are paying attention to. It is about an obsession that may sooner or later get out of hand. Several Kenyans are giving reverence and utter worship to a man called Dr. David Owuor, founder and prophet of the Repentance and Holiness Ministry. Known variously as “The Elijah to come”, “Mighty servant of God” and lately “The Mightiest Prophet”, this man has made women abandon their marriages, men quit their jobs and follow, people flock to towns adorned in sack clothes, some take soap and water to wash streets before his coming and thousands others sleep in the cold with nursing babies in order to meet the man. Some days back I happened to tune into “Jesus Is Lord Radio”, dominated 100 per cent by the teaching and manifestation of the prophet. It is what I heard that made me say we are sitting on a time bomb. A presenter was picking call after call from leading bishops of the Repentance and Holiness Church as they explained the rea...
Read More »

Is gambling or betting a sin? What does the Bible say about gambling

By
Image
Whenever you try to tell someone that gambling or betting is not right they often seem to disagree and disputing it with the fact it is a way of income generation. Some even want you to prove them wrong with the Bible while dont want to reason with you at all. So the question am going to try and answer here for a few minutes of your time if you allow me to take you through is: Is gambling a sin? What does the Bible say about gambling? In trying to answer this question I picked up a few scriptures to help bring it you about gambling in the Bible. Well I must warn you that the word gamble or bet or their synonyms, nouns, verbs, adjectives may have not been used in Bible writing but lean not unto your own understanding. I pray that God gives you spritual eyes to see what am about to prove to you. 1. Mark 8:36 - "For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?" 2. Hebrews 13:5 - Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be con...
Read More »